alas, this blog writer has returned

meh. MEH. meh. i, again, have not been feeling too swell or doing that great. sucky. i am never going to try to do anything the day after returning from a trip ever again. i just sleep because i am so exhausted and then i get mad at myself for not getting my plans done. argh. blippity bloop.

my trip on the other hand was fantastic! wednesday was a good day with me and k and hanging out at night. thursday was great thanksgiving family, food and fun. we had poker later on. m spilled an entire very full cosmo on my lap, no officer, i don't smell any alcohol...it was wet and funny. heh. friday k came over so i didn't go decorating for the lights of christmas. the gas guy also came to install a gas line to the stove. it was an eventful day. ---

PRESENT DAY - DEC 7th, FREAKING FREEZING!!!

saturday my dad and i went out and got j a laptop for her bday and i set it up as her present =) i had a lot of homework to do, but i got it done. sunday we went out for j's bday and it was hilarious. we were all drinking. and laughing and having fun. k had a sleep over and monday we had a great day. i also helped j get christmas decorations and had to climb a ladder and almost fell. and the boxes were heavy. meh. i got ready to go monday night and then tuesday morning j and i went to pick up k. and then got starbucks. and then went to the second hand store. and then dropped me off at the train where my dadd-i-o was waiting to say good bye. i slept on the train home and felt pretty good when i got here.

and then i slept for 21 hours straight. i didn't take any drugs, no muscle relaxers or anything, just past out cold sleeping. i missed the interview and group and woke up at like 7pm crying and screaming such delightful things such as 'i hate myself' and other positive motivators for a bit. then i called j48 and she picked me up. i felt bad for crying and acting how i was, but i couldn't help it and it was better if someone was with me or i was somewhere. i stayed over there. thursday was a blah day at home. friday i met a friend for coffee, it felt kinda like a waste of money and time, but at least i got out of the house. saturday another blah day. sunday i went i over j48s and my grumpy mood continued. i felt bad. meh. i have been really sore and headachy.

i got a B+ in my last class and i think it's bc of my non-interest in pre-natal and super early development. still good. i got all my work started for my new class. i still didn't make my calendar, but i have all the info saved ahead of time. boo yeah. i went to the Rx today and got 2 months and have to fill out a new app for refills. i have to check to see how many klon i have. i might go to psych tomorrow, but since it is like 25degrees and feels like 15degrees with 30mph wind gusts, i might wait until thursday, that way i can check with karapist on wednesday to make sure she is in for sure. i am trying to keep positive. it's hard. things feel sucky right now. meh.

my bro and i talked, well more he talked and i cried while he gave reasons for not visiting this christmas. the one thing that actually upset me was that he said 'they're just gigs' bc he has(d) gigs in seattle and portland and i replied 'i'm not just a gig'. besides that he made logical sense, but it still upset me that i won't get to see him. d is pregnant and doesn't want to be alone, but i know that she wouldn't be alone-alone, but i get it. and aus just got back from 2weeks in italy and whatever other trips he has and will go on. i guess i just had my mind set on him visiting and it crushed me that he won't be. if it wasn't planned, i wouldn't be so upset. he told me 'don't be upset, it's not like we won't ever see each other again. i told him that i couldn't talk bc my emotions were over taking my logical sense. i could tell he was frustrated or upset or something. it'll be fine.

overall, pretty blah. lame. wanna feel better. meh.