feeling blue =(

i am feeling down today. i thought i would be able to sleep with just the cough syrup bc it's supposed to make you drowsy, but no dice, so i had a benadryl, as with all other nights it was like 5am and i was still awake so i had another and layed in bed til 3pm feeling groggy, not rested and un-motivated to do anything. i have even been drinking decaf bc i love coffee but i don't want anything to get in the way of potential sleep. sigh. i was thinking of going to psych tomorrow but at the same time i have childcare 6:30-8:30 and if i went to walk in i might have to wait until after 5pm and not get seen which i did last time. i want to go to bed like, soon and wake up at a reasonable time.

i am supposed to be keeping my mind off work, but i got an unemployment thing that i need to fill out. i should prolly do that. tomorrow. and i need to get in touch with them, my pin is not working and every time i call it's busy, fucking frustrating shit that i did not think i would have to be dealing with. i realized that i have the most education and experience out of any one at the school, most just moved up through the years. oh, right, not thinking of that, fuck.

i have been doing okcupid, it's just depressing me. i sent a 'wink' today. at first i said that i wouldn't message anyone, but wtf? also, it shows who visits your page and i have tons of visitors and repeat visitors but have only gotten a few messages, 2 relevant, don't beat yourself up.

i hurt. bye.