rain + public transport = un - awesome

ugh, it's been raining so much. usually it's just a constant drizzle but it's been like stormy for like 1/2 hour at a time. today was a bad bus day, back to that, mainly bc i have to look into how to get one of these outfits:



yeah, so yesterday was group. productive. they're really all trying to encourage me to get out. i know i need to. i've been doing so much better, but still more to come! however, one guy has been really promoting 12 step programs, he's 5years sober and i am super proud for him, sincerely, but they're not for everyone. i asked 'isn't the over-arching principal 'let go and let god'' and he said yeah and we were both silent. he's like well whatever image of god, it doesn't have to be someone elses, but i just don't think very philosophically. AR = 'i won't pray to a god i can't look in the face'. but someone else was interested about codependency groups bc thinks she thinks she's addicted to men, not sex, but men, so she was like, well i prayer to the creator, and then i have to admit i zoned out for a while one a really cool space image like moving around and stuff, so yeah, different strokes for different folks.

i got some resources for self help bc no group for 2 weeks bc away and then new years before another one. and also for individual therapy at another place bc they are too booked there and also i've already had it and don't know how many other providers there are. also for assistance with bills. whee.

i came home and took apart my computer tower, cleaned it, uninstalled old video card and reinstalled new video card and new (old) monitor on my desktop. it's working well. i copied all my music to a 250g external harddrive but still am nervous to delete it. music is a big part of my life. i would be crushed. but i need to have positive thoughts. nothing is going to happen to the files =)

(*aside, i just messaged someone back on okcupid for the first time ever, well, seriously that is, i have chatted but like 2-5 lines, blah*)

so i didn't sleep well. but i made it on time to walk in psych, which was full. but i didn't find out until 4pm or something. they gave me meds til my appt on the 4th. i am kinda annoyed bc the last appt was missed bc the provider didn't show. grr. i'll be a'ight. i then came home and did kitchen cleaning, i don't know how it gets so messy so fast. then i went to a friends.

the bus driver there on the xfer bus was a jerk. and then he didn't stop for me on the return trip when i was running to him. i always want to complain but then get over it. ha! so i walked to the xfer stop like 20blocks and a few N/S too and then i saw the bus i needed go by, ugh. i had to wait 13minutes, which actually less than i anticipated.

i wanted to watch a movie, but it's already 11:30, so prolly just a show and bed.