i really like my new job. i don't want to mess it up. i already missed 3 extra days after a long vacation after just being hired. i feel confident in my position and love it. yet, i have no more meds left. my scholarship hasn't come in yet and there are no samples at the clinic - this has never happened before. they messed up on sending out my scholarship but i'm not holding it against them bc they provide awesome service to me and many others but now the only option is to go there tomorrow and pick up a written script. i can't afford $200 for 30days of meds (walmart price). there is a place that helps out but their hours are 10-3 m-th. tomorrow is thursday. i only get an hour lunch, if i go to OI and to the special Rx that would be far more than an hour realistically.
but besides telling them my only option is to go 5 days without meds and most likely go out of my mind. and i don't think i can get a few day script. i already called evil*mart whose pharmacy is cheeeeeap which makes up for the ineptness of their overall operation. they carry 10 and 20 and i take 30 a day and the lady was like you'd have to get one bottle of each which i don't think is what they do, i think i would get 10's and say take 3 a day or 20's and take 1 1/2 a day. but you can't speak with them really, let alone try and reason with them. i am sure they would be baffled with a 7day script. and this is no hyperbole, they actually gave me a controlled substance Rx in a bottle with my name wrong, my birth year wrong, my doctor wrong and no address and they didn't have it fixed when i went in for the refill. you get what you pay for, i guess?
in other news. my work crush is a) fading but b) leaving - last day of this friday. if there is some party thing i will go but i don't think it's a crush anymore. or maybe it's just not as fun anymore now that i know he's leaving. but he is really cute *smirk* ok, still a kinda-crush, not a crush-crush. te-he.
my grammy (still with poppy - not gramma mc and grampa mc-RIP) noted again that i am extremely intelligent but for the first time ever noted that i seem insecure and that i need to be confident with myself and my knowledge. it made me cry. it's so true. it's something i'm trying to work on - appropriate assertiveness, i'm a freaking pushover, even at my new job already 'yes, yes' and then be annoyed a) that i said yes and b) that i didn't say something! therapy bullshit. actually i love therapy. but it's freaking hard. i am trying and that is all i can do. and i've actually been feeling fairly good lately.
and also since i'm on the psycho-babble, i've been thinking about this since monday, so may as well just get it out there(*). i get handouts and worksheets and stuff at therapy. now mind you, i know this, but included in the packet was info for the patient who is clinically depressed and it described that in detail over "feeling" depressed which bc of flucations in moods, most if not all have felt at one time or another; it was kinda like when i finally started to commit to better mental health and got handed my meds and cried, knowing it's true but having it still hurt. yeah.
*i've decided to write a book. i've wanted to for a long time. i think i am going to use the style of taking excerpts from my journals and blogs and life and then expand that into a story or something. the book i am reading now is 'visible amazement'- it does that. plus the psychic said i should write "how-to" type books like to do with teaching special children, so yeah. it sounds a lot better in my head. slow down, kiddo, one step at a time!
i love me. i love you, nikkol. *hug*
SYTYCD and rice and peas indian style :)
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4 comments:
Hey Lady,
You're right. You DO just need to get comfortable with your knowledge. But, also, it's a new job. Of course, you're saying yes a lot and feeling a bit insecure. You'll be more assertive when you've been there longer.
I worked as a pharmacy tech all through college. Things may have changed, but if we didn't have the correct dosage, the pharmacist would combine dosages to make it. So the 20 mgs combined with a 10 is what he would have done. Particularly because breaking some pills (I think, time released) is not a great idea.
Also, if someone had an ongoing script, and none of it was narcotic and they only needed five days but couldn't afford it, he'd give them the pills early and then let them come into pay for the full prescription later. When someone is paying full price for something, it's within your rights to ask them for a number of pills within the script and then you will just pay for those pills. So... if you have a prescription for 30 pills, you can ask them to fill just five of them and then come in later for the rest. I worked for CVS. And it was only with non-narcotic meds. And it was years ago.
whoa, that info is muy excellente. really.
i found out when i got my script it's for 20mg, 1 1/2 a day. this pill, since doses range from 5-30mg and only come in 10 and 20mg's are designed with a line in the center for splitting. i have a pill splitter, sometimes it's cheaper to get the bigger doses and split them, too. i think it's non-narcotic.
i am definetly going to ask if they can fill it for a 7 day script bc a) i see karapist on mon and they might have samples in or better b) my scholarship was shipped on 6/18 so it should be there is less than 2 weeks. i do have to go to wal*mart now tho. ugh. maybe i'll just alter my state nd wait and wander around there, for some reason that sounds fun, i guess more fun than just wandering around.
i think its so sweet that you can talk to your grammy like that. even though she made you sad, its just wonderful to have that connection with her and that she loves you enough to be completely honest with you. she's totally right though! you are ridiculously intelligent but you do seem to doubt yourself sometimes. honestly, that is the perfect place to be in. you can recognize it and are working on it AND you are already brilliant!! :)
yeah, grammy can be tough but i know it's tough love. and thanks so much! i don't know what else to say. thanks, i miss you, it'd be cool to hang out sometime. word
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