...have been pretty rough. i knew i was going to run out of meds and i was coping best i could, but still i could tell a slight difference.
thursday was just one of those days. was totally on time and my bus got there 3 minutes early and i saw it drive by. so i got there at like 7:58 instead of 7:45. then lunch i had to go to OI to get my script. that was all i did on lunch. it was stressful. and i knew i wouldn't be able to make it to the assistance house. meh. so i dropped it off at Rx and asked for 7days and it would've been ready that night, but things take a lot longer, so by the time i got home it was time to leave again, so i decided that i could do day2, bc i was home and comfortably numb so yeah. also running to catch the bus, i caught my headphone cord on a tree and it broke. no music the rest of thursday or friday while out.
friday i was alone in class with 8 kids. which would be OK except a) there were 7boys and 1 girl, b) the one girl is on her way to Kindergarten and way advanced and bored and acts out so the combination was brutal and c) it's really only my 4th day bc the time before other teachers were there so they remember me, but with the lapse, they are definitely testing boundaries. d) i also was not so comfortable in my skin that day. G is my fav, and i don't play favs in class but i do have favs, besides being awesome he totally helps out and listens and he looked genuinely sad when everyone was being a meanie. P was going around the room dumping things out, awesome at clean-up. J&J were wrestling. Ja was running around, N was following and S&Nf were hiding. it was so cool. instead of like 5-10 minutes, it took us 35 minutes to get outside. and i was being really patient and helping too, but it just wasn't working. then we had like 15 minutes outside (but had an hour in the a.m. and more in the p.m.) and everyone was like why? ugh. so i tried to have a little "listening to your teacher" thing before we sat down before lunch. they called me stupid and one said "i wasn't even nice, anyway" (said the same thing about Rb the other day), i told them it really hurt my feelings. it did. i went on break and cried under a tree farther away in the neighborhood. the afternoon was better but still not perfect. after work i went to Rx and i also got myself a pair of blue small enough to fit in my ear headphones that i love already. i fell asleep at like 9something, before 10.
and now it's 8:21 and i am awake. i am tired though. don't feel like doing much. drinking coffee now and will prolly watch some tv (and not get sucked into a marathon) and clean this place up. i also can't figure out how to open the camera "aluminum covering" to the ports for uploading onto computer. but it's confirmed that the "door" my dad spoke of exists. i feel kinda silly for not being able to figure it out. but it did take 3 of us to open the battery door. you have to like push in and press up or some junk, tricky stuff. old stuff. i can't wait to get a new camera. yeah.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
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2 comments:
Kids say the craziest things to grown ups.
Lately, when Bunny goes into a time out she screams, "I KNOW MOMMY DOESN'T LOVE ME. I KNOW MOMMY DOESN'T THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL."
Sad right? (this totally plays on Jay's heartstrings.)
Not so much. Because I KNOW Bunny is being manipulative... which I tell her after. I ask, "do you really think that I don't love you or think you're beautiful because I've put you in a time out?" She always says no. I also know that I am never derogative to my children and only make positive comments to them about my love and about their appearances.
The other day, out of nowhere, Bunny said, "I don't know why I say those mabibitating things to you." I asked what that meant. She said, "like, when I tell you that you don't love me..." So, I said, "do you mean manipulative..." She did. Another word to her vocabulary (heh.)
I can't wait to see your pics.
Also, I love marathons. We've done away will tv in our house. Jay set up a computer with a large monitor and now we just watch things that he downloads. He recently downloaded cycle 10 of ANTM... which I didn't catch when it aired. I watched endless episodes each night after the girls went to sleep. I like watching marathons so much better than watching week to week. I guess I don't have much of an attention span. Do you watch LOST? If not, I will send you the DVD's. That's some good marathon s.h.i.t.
yeah, i know it wasn't a personal attack. i think bc i wasn't all there and it was a tough day and i was trying and do try really hard that it got to me.
my dad always jokes about manipulative skills, bc in education it's like when they can manipulate a zipper up and down or something. but my dad always uses the other meaning, that they're manipulating me, hahaha.
i am addicted to marathons. that's how i like to watch tv, too. but i get sucked in and will waste a whole day and night away all too often on the marathons. and i did watch a L&O:CI marathon - hah! and i tried to watch lost and i was lost. that's my joke, but it's true. there were 2many characters or something. but i know people really like it, maybe i would, too ;)
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