freaking out. just a little. heh

Friday May 22, 2009 3pm
I’m in a really bad mood. Allergies and allergy medicine are driving me crazy. I can’t leave all the windows and doors closed bc then dust builds up and I am allergic to that, too. With the windows and doors open there is a pollen storm and it just flies in or attaches itself to the screen. I took a 30sec video on my phone to try to show the actual pollen falling, but it doesn’t look that great, whatever. I was supposed to have an interview this morning. Last night I felt crappy, I found some Zicam nasal gel and tried that, I woke up around 7 with a splitting headache, I took allergy medicine and hoped to wake up for my interview, but I slept until 2pm. I tried to call but I don’t have the number, it’s through e-mail so I will at least send an e-mail. At least it’s something I don’t really feel qualified or great at doing, the Montessori Lead Infant Guide, but the school looked nice, we’ll see if they reschedule.
I am nervous about taking too much additional allergy medicine and/or Sudafed bc it can increase blood pressure and mine has been high. Going off the pill should’ve lowered it, but I also stopped puffing which prolly makes it higher and I know smoking cloves will make it higher. I can’t take the hyper-tension tincture bc it interacts with my other meds and I took it once on a full nights sleep, having coffee, and not puffing and I first felt sick and nauseous and then was comatose for 6 hours in the middle of the afternoon, not cool. I’m also fairly certain that I’ve been more agitated and angry bc of not having herb. Since it has been part of my treatment and I want it to continue to be rather than another chemical, namely an anti-psychotic, I think I am experiencing what I will feel like without it, like, all the half life is gone. And it’s not pretty. Getting a medical card is moving up onto the top of my list, too bad it takes a lot of money.
Which is another thing, my financial aid lady WILL NOT contact me back. I don’t know what to do. I have called, emailed from yahoo and u of p address and NOTHING. I got a call yesterday from the Education coordinator and she sent me emails it looks like really annoying stuff I have to do for certification, but I didn’t read it too in depth, I’ll copy it today at the library and read it at home. It also sounds like even though I am doing all the requirements for an OR certification, that first I will get an AZ one bc that is where the home of the school is and than I have to transfer it. It also has info on national certification which makes more sense to me, if there are federal mandates in place, why aren’t teachers certified nationally? It just means you have to take more tests and pay more money and crap like that. Stuff I don’t want to think about and don’t have to right now. I also got a call from my interim advisor just to check in. I didn’t talk to either of them or call them back. I am doing fine in class and can call next week when I calm down, hopefully. I have to write my paper and try to submit it to plagiarism checker and WritePoint, but it takes up to 72 hours to check and I have done no work on it and the library is closed on Monday and I don’t have $1.50 for coffee to go to a coffee shoppe, so I will try to do those, but if not, whatever. I also am going to get other articles bc the study from the 50s and 60s doesn’t make too much sense to me and it’s in a sociology journal and I have an article from a sociology journal already, the thing that is confusing is that within the article it references tons of other things and since I have to cite things, I don’t know how to do that if the most important quote came from this article but is being cited from another article. Also, my APA citation book that was sent by UPS Air the beginning of the week isn’t here and I need it. OK, the second article from 1992 I have references the 1964 article so I am dumping that one fer sure.
That reminds me, I spoke with 2 older men on the bench waiting for the bus, they had just come from a free weekly dinner right near the library that I might check out. The older of the 2 said “God loves us that’s for sure” and I said “He sure does” and laughed and he told me he liked the way I smiled and laughed. I almost wish that I could have blind faith like people, but I don’t and whenever I do think about religion, I also think of scientific and empirical data that points to other more realistic theories to me. “I’m more science than faith, I’m more karma than bread and booze” – Aes Rizzle.
I found that putting a headband on my forehead made it feel better and if I freeze it even better, I am waiting for it to freeze again. I might actually wear a mask outside. I don’t give a shit. Well, I am about to write more responses to discussion questions to get participation points and then go to the library, post them, write to the place I screwed over this morning, copy the Ed information onto my memory stick and look up all the ingredients in the tincture, actually, I don’t want to try that today bc I am going to a show tonight (guest list baby!) and tomorrow is a friends outdoor party and I’d like to do fun stuff. Monday will be my day of rest, unless OI is open and then I will go there, if not, Tuesday for an inhaler or Wednesday around group if I don’t make it Tuesday. At least I tried, and I tried valiantly for 2 months and I will still continue to use the natural stuff, but the inhaler actually works and makes me not miserable, a huge plus.