big sigh.

this week has not been so hot for me. i didn't sleep well sun. with benadryl and last night i woke up at like 4:30am after taking benadryl and could not sleep at 5 still so i smoked. i slept for the 2 more hours i had.

today the energy in the classroom was just 'off'. with everyone. kids. teachers. we were all affecting each other. i had to take out my very serious, firm teacher voice which i don't use much and had to explain that i like being happy but i was angry because they were not listening and just dumping toys out. i had to have them sit in line before going outside and call them out until they could sit quietly, something they can and will do again, today was just one of those days. sigh. also, the assistant who is great in some respects is really not strong in other areas and i know it is partly my job to help him and teach him. thing is today, sh, told him, an, exactly what was expected and he still did not do it. i am doing a schedule and have to add duties to it. in an's defense, i did have to leave when usually i will just stay as late as i need to.

which leads me to a very frustrating evening after a very frustrating day at work. i had psych scheduled for 5:30pm, usually it is no prob just popping out a bit before but ratio is 1 to 10 max, today was 3 to 22, at 5pmwe were at 2 to 17, at 5:20pm still 2 to 13, which at the last part of the day it's ok to be over, but still totally lame. the eve admin said she would be back before 5:30pm with someone to relieve me, fine, having someone there at 5:30pm when i am scheduled off would've been great, and technically sh and i just figured out that 8-5 was too early bc we have late ones so we changed it. erg. so i stood until 530 and an said to just go, i literally ran the laundry over and on the way back bumped into someone with the basket and feel horrible. i clocked out at 5:32 and ran to my appt., which i made before the 10minute late no show rule. however, psych had already left which wasn't confirmed until like after 6. i was on the schedule for 5:30pm and they know i was on time. totally shitty. i am so stressed about just work. then add my ear and sinus appts. then add my psych and group appts. i am really just trying to fly under the radar without saying anything which i'd be able to do if my doc was there for an appt. i am really hoping they can just count this as an appt. i still have to email. blerg.

and now it's 8pm, i haven't eaten except for stale wheat thins at like 6 and all i want is junk food. i have a headache. i'm tired. i am nervous about dealing with stuff tomorrow. just have to be honest. both teachers in the room and an admin knew ahead of time and an admin knew at 520. fudgesicles. mmm, that sounds good.

here's to a better tomorrow! =-)