the most expensive lesson i ever learned...

the school drama continues. i am going to owe money for 9credits of school. but i get a 'W' on my transcript. my advisor fucked me over. i admit i made some mistakes with absences and not communicating bc i was angry, but he did more damage than that could ever do.

It was a nice Thursday afternoon, I was dressed in a skirt and a nice top. I was ready to go to my classes. I was sitting in my first class and my advisor came in to collect funds for a school club. I went over to say hi since it has been a while and I still didn't have a Field Experience Placement. He pulled me into his office. We talked and through the course of this meeting there were many pauses and he even left the room on several occassion, leaving me alone to stew in my thoughts of what my options were which after talking were bust my ass and do the FE even if it is late in the term or take a Leave of Absence, something I hadn't ever thought of or considered. After over an hour of meeting and me crying (no matter what I was saying losing all intelligibility bc of seen as an emotional mess, due to showing him this side once, i became extremely vunerable to this reaction) I said, "I think I will take a LoA at this point". I really didn't feel wanted there and no one wants to be somewhere where they are constantly feeling that way. I said my answer based on previous in the conversation where he assured me my financial aid would not be affected (showing he had this in his mind before we talked). He states that he gave me that information based on what student services gave him, once again not taking personal responsibility for his actions. so here we are....I took the leave of absence and here's a breakdown of my options:

Option #1: Don't return at all and owe $15K for only 9credits completed starting now.

Option #2: Return in Januaray of 2010 and pay for winter out of pocket, owing $4K in January up front in addition to the $4K after I graduate that was in financial aid to be paid back, $8K total.

Option #3: Start a different school within 6months and have my financial aid intact but will still owe $4K for this term.

Option #4: Same as #3, but with an *online* school!!!

Option #5: Get a job as a teacher and apply for a 3 year temporary license while going to school slowly over those 3 years to complete the certification and Master's, possibly with all or partial tuition reimbursement from my job.

While #5 is very attractive, the chances of that are slim to none, but i do actively search on school job openings, so you never know, maybe they want to hire me for dirt cheap, and i'll take it! Option #4 is not only the cheapest but I won't owe any money until after I graduate and I won't have to go somewhere where they don't want to deal with me. Plus I am already done with several steps of the procedure (unknowingly) and I might even be able to transfer the 9 credits I got.

I thought I would really like being in school, but it didn't really turn out to be what I expected, I was really only going to campus when I had classes and not even then bc it felt a waste to spend over 3 hours on the buses, walking and waiting for a 2.75hour class that wasn't challenging me; seriously, I would leave my house before 5 and not get home til after 11pm, for ONE class.

I just wrote to the registrar to apply for retroactive withdrawal (something else advisor didn't advise me of). I'm really proud of myself for handling this all in a timely fashion and coping fairly well too. Now on to some job searches. maybe, i know i need to do it, but i am beat from the dramz around school. And just to add some irony, I got a call today from the library offering me a work study job, all I can do is shake my head.

So the lesson is: Don't trust anyone who you don't really know even if they are supposed to be on your side and working with you to accomplish your goals and dreams.