lazy sunday, some stuff done, some not

it's weird how i think all the time and then in group or with psych i forget the stuff i want to talk about. just a note. anyway. group was good. when i got back j48 was acting a bit clingy and i don't do well with that and then be both mis-read a situation that happened when i hung out over there, so we talked about it in group and resolved it. i cried bc i always am super emotional especially around my period (which i forgot to talk about to psych). i still feel she is a bit needy right now, but i need to keep in mind that she is changing meds and that is tough and while i got back and have school and hopefully some work so i am staying in more, she still has nothing going on. anyway, she rocks and it's all good in the hood. karapist thinks i should go to school to be a psyciatric nurse practioner bc when she couldn't think of what SNRI - serotonin and neuropenephrine re-uptake inhibitor - stood for and i did, she said it and i could get my RN at the same time at OHSU and then she laughed and said 'after your masters that is'.

speaking of, i *really* need to get onto talking to people about tests and student teaching and crap. i was going to say 'i don't know why i haven't...' but i know exactly why i haven't done it, bc it's a pain in the ass, but it NEEDS to be done. also, i got my fed disbursment, YaY, but not my private loan which both my mother and i received billing statements for (which my mommy paid-thankssss), so we are paying interest on 3K which neither of us have and shouldn't need to until after school (i think).

psych was good. she was proud of me for being there and she said my mood and affect seemed better. yeah. there was a PNP student there so i told them what karapist said and psych said 'i should do more reflection in the mirror' and the student, when psych left us uncomfortably alone-drat!, told me there is a shortage of child prescribers, if i focused on children, I would do psychology, not psyciatry bc i wouldn't want to give out meds to kids, but, um, why am i talking about this so much.

i've been boring besides that, little things like paying bills and filling out forms and doing homework and cleaning bits and reading and NOT smoking cigarettes. i haven't had one in 10days. it's an accomplishment bc, i didn't even admit it to myself, but i was smoking again. i had stopped buying packs, but i was bumming them and also rolling them out of the little bit of tobacco left from old butts in my ashtray and i bought a pack while up at dad's on thurs night bc since i had been bumming like everyday, i a) wanted a cigarette before i got there to bum one from m and b) so that i could give the remainder of the pack to m to pay her back for bumming from her. i don't want to smoke. so i quit. and i mean it.

yesterday i went to j48s and we watched the end of season3 of weeds, my favorite season so far. i have only seen to the end of season4 bc the rest is unavailable on netflix until a later date. we also played mario cart and both only like one level so after crashing through other levels, we stuck to a battle at 'funky stadium' to collect coins, weeee! i wanted indian food when i got home, but it was closed. i got pizza. it sucks. i need to eat better. and exercise besides just walking. one day at a time, one thing at a time.

today was fairly productive but i feel like i got not a lot done - wow, nice grammar there, buuudy. i didn't nap and have concluded that i also get really tired when i have my period. super erratic sleep, like up may hours awake, then asleep mass hours dead asleep, then naps after being up 3 hours drinking coffee. i hope this goes away after next month's hopefuly non-chalant, uneventful pre, during and post menstrual times. i really need to go to the doctor for that overdue thyroid check and overdue pap and not taking super vitamins and yeah. oh, and acupuncture. i like that. i should get on that. i am all over the place. that's it for now. *i just saluted. like actually took my hand to my head and saluted, so i guess that's me signing off. (weirdo)*