AAAGGGHHH!!!

so yeah, i did leave off in a crucial spot, but unintentionally...

i went to the clinic on wed. and they told me that i had an infection in both ears and have a torn membrane in my right ear from the pressure building up so much which 'will heal' but i may have permanent hearing loss. but the weird thing is, the left ear is the one that is hurting, it is so full of ick and today i have heard it do weird things when yawning or blowing my nose, but no release. it's shitty. antiobiotics, expectorant and a cough tincture. so yeah, i ended up needing the time off work anyway.

i have had a really crappy 5 days. just trying to sleep, rest, watching tv, playing games, using net. which would be fun, but the pain, it's maddening. i wish i had stronger pain killers but i don't know if that would help with ear pain or just with dealing. erg. was supposed to meet with director, rescheduled for monday at 11, supposed to have my first week of 2hour 12 step childcare, had to cancel. oh yeah, i didn't go to group or to psych which likely isn't helping my mind but i did do so cbt worksheets. i feel like i missed other stuff, work, going out, meh.

my stepsister, kt, and long time bf, d, are engaged! YaY! i can't talk to anyone on the phone. which is a bummer, but i'm sure she is talking to lots of people right now, i'll get her a little after. i txted and fb'ed d, since kt doesn't use fb.

dad had preliminary surgery on friday. they went in with a scope and took biopsies of various organs and things. they didn't find any tumors which is a good thing, i think, but they did find malignant cells which is why he had the biopsies so i guess now they find where the bad cells are and then dad said surgery or treatment, they should know by next week, my b-day, which i can hardly believe.

i should shower and go to the store. meh. i will wear an out of season ear band to protect my ears. and no headphones =( more to come, hopefully gooooooooooood =-)