holy crap. lil miss hypersensitive and negative over here =(
i got like 6 hours sleep on tuesday before we left for work camping retreat but i figured i would be fine, but um, it was more tiring than i thought it would be.
the ride out began at 7:30 but was fun, we took a long time leaving bc we wanted coffee and then my stupid debit card didn't go through although i thought there was a little $ in my account, i called and there was $2.54, suck. we got there and it was super nice, we set up and then had class in a yurt. then we had free time and a few people were interested in no bake cookies but no one going wanted to get the ingredients so on a whim, i was like, i'll go! i had intended to have my phone off or away the whole time but since we were going to town i figured i would check in.
i got a txt from my dad that included 'call me asap'. i knew something was awry. i found out that my grandma had a bad stroke and the doctors were making sure she had said good bye to everyone and she said she hadn't met her new niece bc she lives in boston and talked about aus and me. i called my aunt c who was with her, but she said gramma was stable but out. she said i should talk to her asap and that she would txt me when she was awake again. i was all weird and depressed bc i of course was thinking the worst and was like 'omg what if i never get to say goodbye', it was awful. i was more hypersensitive than usual and was taking everything personally. i wanted to be strong confident nikkol but then ended up being crying mess depressed nikkol, but oh well, now people know that i'm an emotional basket case.
there is much more but i will post this for now......................................
Saturday, September 4, 2010
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2 comments:
Oh my...
This is sounds completely terrible.
First, I'm so sorry about your grandmother. How is she now? But also, I am sorry that you were in such a tough situation. I mean, it's not as if you can be faced with a family emergency and just pretend that everything is okay... or put it behind you for a bit. Yuck.
yeah, it's weird how things happen...
from what i hear they are doing everything to keep gramma comfortable. she is having mini strokes (TIA's my mom the RN said) and has moments of clarity and moments of delirium. she is 'stable' whatever that means. i am glad i got to talk to her. she has lived a long and great life. she could rebound, but time will tell...
i am kinda glad i was there bc i had a lot of support and people to talk me out of some craziness whereas my normal reaction would be to hide and cry. but yeah, it sucked, it was so draining. and then we drank and smoked both nights which certainly help with having clear emotions. erg.
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