lots o' random shiz

i posted some new photos on flickr

here is my absolute favorite. (did sepia with camera)


oh yeah, i am one of the first student representatives on the Oregon Education Association committee for promoting professional development or something. i got the e-mail from t-rule. WOO!

i made it by running to the bus for training on time. i was there at 7:45 when the agenda said "coffee" - there were mad people there already. it was bad. i didn't have any coffee before i left and they only had terrible coffee that was 200degrees and cremora. they should've put the schedule in different order. they talked about the usda food program which after 7 years of not using it they are starting again, uck, and boring NAEYC accreditation stuff for the first hours. this especially pissed me off bc they were talking about how hard it is to get your CDA=Child Development Associates - ASSOCIATES - why will you not recognize my extensive higher education??? then i had an awesome! ASL training - not "baby sign" - she had a BS degree. then lunch.

then 2 booooooooring hours on naturalizing your environment. i thought i would like it, nope, pretty damn repitive. use wooden stuff and wicker baskets and rocks and bring plants in, over and over. and i don't think this other lady had any degree she works for the state or county or cdc or something. then we had to do a mock circle time. i was so freaking cracked out on no sleep and bad coffee with cremora and sugar and candy (on the tables) that i was so hyper and was just so into it bc otherwise i would be super annoyed.

then, they gave us elaborate felt books to make. i was so excited - i even got brown bear, which i LOVE. but then they like didn't tell us how to do them - and you would think we could do it, but everyone was like WTF? and all 5 were different - the story and the materials and how you made it. some involved tracing and others cutting and painting and mine had sandpaper which me and a seasoned teacher couldn't figure out so she asked. it's for the back. bc it sticks to felt. and my characters are not felt, oh no, they are foam - how do you even cut that shit? and here's the kicker. the things we had to trace were TERRIBLE. i CAN NOT draw, like at all, kids make fun of my drawings bc they look funny and i could have done a better job on these. they photocopied them hanging off the page and smaller and bigger than the others - the frog is like 3x the size of the bear. so yeah, thanks for promoting literacy by giving us no instructions, crappy materials and no time. i cut out like 4 animals which i am going to trash and get my own anyway bc i take pride in my work and just bc "children don't know the difference" that doesn't mean you shouldn't give them the best you can do.

this is why i don't last at jobs i guess. so frustrating. i am looking into that job study thing this weekend if i can online. this will be fine - training's are always annoying. the people i made friends with - the other weird grrl with afro puff from olympia and old caddy ladies. awesome. they were as sarcastic as me. they started first and then i was all in, they made it better. then i was sitting next to a girl on the bus-stop and she's worked there 2.5 years (good thing) but she started complaining about it, she was like they always do this stuff that either doesn't take the time or takes too much time. over. done. 8.5 hour paycheck coming to me.

ok, so does anyone remember the guy mx that i met that had a brain injury? ok, well i've seen him other times. i've thought he was on meth before. i think bc he acts sort of weird - the whole brain injury thing, but he isn't tweeky at all and i actually have no idea what a meth-head actually acts likes, so a fear, i suppose. so i meet him again on my sidewalk. he doesn't remember meeting me. he guessed me 26, i lied and said 27 bc he won't remember. he wanted me to go up the street and listen to music. we think the place up the street is a cover for something. he took my digits and i got his. he called from someone else's phone twice. i kinda feel bad for not meeting him or calling back. but i am tired. and i don't think i should open the door further on this one.

let's take a look back at the completely dysfunctional relationships i've had:
-p~cheating, bragging to my brother about said cheating, i got arrested when he got pulled over
-j~totally had a girlfriend
-d~mental issues, slightly abusive, cheating, i got arrested when he stole stuff, family issues
-bioboy~burned his house down accidentally going downstairs to get orange juice
-r~obsessive, turned stalkery quickly, wouldn't stop calling and saying he missed me
-p~5 year sex obsession
-g~not actually a relationship but was? extreme paranoia.
-b~compulsive dater, lying, mental issues
-a~(didn't date) 21, has 4 year old, schizophrenic, used to be a tweeker, has a girlfriend, kinda?
-m~(didn't date) 24, has brain injury, has poor memory, think he might be on drugs
wow, let's add that up with all my craziness and dysfunction in and out of relationships and things don't look so purty. i guess the moral of the story is to counteract ones problems it's best to find someone that has less of their own and be willing to support the ongoing issues the less stable partner has. or no more crazies for me.

i need karapist. she was sick this week. and i think they're closed labor day. oh, and i got my period, woooohoooo. i still am too many months overdue for my annual which i am usually sooooo good at but am so freaked out bc of cancer. but not getting check is prolly the worst thing i can do, so yeah, that makes sense. karapist said i could have it done at the clinic which i prolly should do bc i have the best chance of doing it, plus if i want i can get STD testing - Planned Parenthood is losing funding (oh man, rant coming up) and actually still does paps and stuff but refers people to OI for STD testing.

ok, so this palin lady. nice strategy there mc cain. we now have race counterbalanced with gender, well played. um, she's from alaska. where there's a lot of oil. and neither care about the environment (one won't be around anyway, hahahahaha-HA). they both want to over-turn roe-v-wade, thanks fellow female. they love guns and hockey. and hate gays. i am about to go into panic mode about the election bc once again, i fear, i so strongly fear that mc palin may win and i don't know if i can take it, i'll actually need to go live in the forest in ireland. o'biden is still very strong. but i worry. instead of diversity we have racism, sexism, ageism, yet i still can't find an -ism for biden. think positive. as you can tell, i am.

ok, going to get comfortably numb bc i can't handle all this right now. but it'll all be ok. this post is weird. and i think, realllllllllllllly long, i haven't scrolled up. i got more and more heated as i went along and now i need to cool down. whew.

xoxo ~ nikkolz - famous blogger(*)

*not actually famous